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    How To Overcome Fears Of Public Speaking

    I remember the first time I learnt about ‘Power Poses’. I was at a business networking group, London Women in Finance – Career Coaching Group, and the host had asked us what we would do to boost our confidence before a speech. Prior to learning about this new concept, introduced by Amy Cuddy, my answer would have been ‘have a coffee, stay calm, practice and pray’!

    So what exactly is the ‘Power Pose’ strategy that seems to have skipped past me without me realising?

    Well, some of it has a little to do with Wonder Woman and her ability to stand tall! Hands on hips, chest out and shoulders back. A pose that connotes power, confidence and increases your ability to deal with anxiety or stress….and the best thing of all, it takes just two minutes to do!

    So why am I telling you this?

    A few weeks back, I was standing in front of a small group of people, preparing to share my story.  I had agreed to give a speech entitled, How to overcome your inner critic, raise your visibility & get noticed at work and quite naturally, I was feeling a little nervous about addressing an audience. Seconds before speaking, I felt as though a Power Pose was what I needed!

    Although I’ve spoken publicly on a number of occasions, I’ve never managed to become a fan of public speaking, even though the reaction by others has always been positive. I’ve always felt as though its something I’ve wanted to master and so watching Ted Talks, an initiative set  up to spread ideas in the form of short presentations, has helped me understand and observe how to address a sizeable audience and the art of keeping an audience engaged.  Its a great source of information for anyone looking to improve their public speaking skills.

    The event, where I was speaking, was held at an intimate private venue in Angel & Islington and was an opportunity to share my past experiences with Vitiligo, whilst bringing some focus around being different in the workplace and the challenges with adjusting to a new working environment.

    An interesting Q&A session followed, which raised some insightful questions, mostly around how i’d gone from being an overwhelming shy woman to someone who was able to address an audience about something that was once very personal. The few months I had to build my speech and prepare, was an interesting experience as I was conscious about engaging my audience and giving them something that was ultimately thought provoking. I adopted tactics often used in public speaking and focused on being prepared and how to eliminate the potential arrival of nerves of the day….

    Plan and Practice

    The most obvious tip of them all! I was practising for weeks leading up to the day. I didn’t want to rely on a scripted piece of paper. I wanted to present my story naturally, after all, it’s one in which I should be comfortable telling! Feeling prepared makes you feel confident and helps with keeping nerves at a distance when its time to stand before your audience.

    Engage your audience

    Keep your listeners at the forefront of your speech. Include them. Engage them and evoke interest in your topic. Whilst you may ultimately be speaking about yourself, try and tie sections in with your audience to keep their attention. Open with a general scenario that they could find themselves in. Make it so you can potentially persuade them to do something they may not have done before. If you can bring them round to your way of thinking it can be incredibly empowering.

    Write key words on index cards and don’t be strict about sticking to it!

    Key words can act as simple prompts during the speech. Key words helped me avoid the temptation of reading from paper, line by line. After I had got past my first index card and felt like my speech was flowing, I stopped looking at the cards and was pretty much able to deliver without too many glances at the cards before me.

    Record your voice (great apps on the iPhone!) to judge your pace

    Nerves can often make you race through something, because all your thinking about is the ending, rather than living in the moment and addressing the audience in a calm manner. Im always conscious of my need to slow down to ensure I come across clearly. Whilst speaking slowly doesn’t come naturally to me, it’s incredibly important you speak at a good pace. It’s more engaging, allows you to be more expressive and makes you feel more relaxed throughout.

    Arrive at the venue early

    Im terrible with lateness and im often the one hanging my head in shame as I give my apologies for being 10 minutes late! But when it comes to attending a networking event or presenting, I make sure im at least 10 minutes early. There is nothing worse than rushing to  an event in panic mode, as it completely throws you off course. To feel relaxed you need to arrive relaxed. Also, if you use public transport, its a great way to go over your notes or have a last minute practice before you arrive at the venue.

    Treat yourself to something beforehand.

    I’d never turn down the chance to treat myself! Im not saying run out and buy yourself a new dress from Karen Millen or a piece of fine jewellery, but something small that you can enjoy beforehand. Mine is definitely a latte! Apart from being calming, it’s nice to look forward to something especially if you’re feeling nervous.

    The event organiser, Philippa Ibe, very generously gave me a testimonial on my deliverance:

    What I loved about Natalie’s talk is that it was fresh and real. She shared a unique yet relatable story covering themes such as body confidence and self worth. Her story is truly inspirational, moving and a real joy to see her grow into her own as a speaker. I look forward to seeing more of Natalie giving talks”.

     

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    Lifestyle

    Being The Mum Of A Vitiligo Girl..

    When the first signs of Vitiligo appeared when I was 2 years old, my parents didn’t over react, even though they had no idea what it was. As a mixed race child, with fair caramel coloured skin, there was little chance of the distinctive white patch, no bigger than a ten pence piece, appearing unnoticeable.

    Naturally, my parents had questions they wanted immediate answers too. Was it a discoloured birthmark? Was it irritating my skin? and most worryingly of all…..was it going to spread beyond my hand?

    My Mum quickly booked an appointment with our GP in hope that a prescription of antibiotics would remedy the problem! However, unbeknown to her, the problem was much more severe than that and would develop into a condition she had never even heard of.

    So how does it feel when you notice the first patch on your babies beautiful skin? Confused? Angry? Frustrated by the lack of information available on the condition?

    How does a mother respond?

    As the mother of me, here’s how mine responded….

    Finding the first patch….

    As a parent, noticing the first patch naturally sends you into a state of panic. Shock even especially as you have no clue what it is or why its developed. Back when I was a child, Vitiligo was a relatively unknown condition and so when she took me to our GP, he wasn’t able to confirm what it was. The advice she was given was simple; keep an eye which is the last thing any parent wants to hear. She wanted to walk out of the surgery with a diagnosis and a remedy that would clear it within a matter of weeks! Instead, she had to remain patient and watch to see if it was something that would develop or stabilise. She was incredibly frustrated by the lack information.

    The diagnosis

    I was officially diagnosed with Vitiligo 24 months later. Up until the point when I was diagnosed, I’d made a second visit to our GP who still wasn’t able to confirm it was that. The patch had slowly started to spread, covering my arms, legs and worst of all, my face. A referral to a Dermatologist at Great Ormond Street Hospital was when it was confirmed as Vitiligo and that it was incurable.

    Being the mother of a child who is ‘different’…

    One of the hardest things for any parent to face, is ridicule towards their child. It makes them feel helpless. My Mum found the stares and inquisitive questions difficult to accept initially, but gradually developed the understanding that people were curious. Occasionally she would turn a blind eye if she noticed people looking, but other times, depending on how intrusive people were being, she would explain what it was. My Mum recalls an incident on the bus when I was 3 years old. Sitting in my pushchair, with a lolly pop for entertainment, I had caught the attention of two women who were initially talking amongst themselves. They noticed my patchy legs and whispered to one another that my parents were irresponsible for leaving me to burn in a fire! Naturally, my Mum was infuriated by the assumption and made a point of telling them that wasn’t the case!

    My Mum got used to people looking. She refused to cover me up and allowed me to wear shorts, t-shirts and swimsuits on holiday. As far as she was concerned, I was an ordinary child with a skin condition. Simple.

    Support Groups

    There were very limited support groups available in the UK when I was a child, but my parents did attend events at the Vitiligo Society which helped her, not only understand the condition, but meet with other parents who had children with the same condition. Being part of a support network meant she felt supported and not so alone when it came to raising a child that was ‘different. The Vitiligo Society continues to run the annual Vitiligo Society Conference (normally every October) and also runs a parents group every Tuesday & Thursday from 10:30 to 14:30. For more information, please call; 0800 018 2631 or 020 7798 6051. Alternatively, you can email: general@vitiligosociety.org.uk

    The best piece of advice from a mother to another….

    Don’t treat your child like they are different. Natalie’s Mum says “I chose not to hide Natalie away by giving her the freedom to wear whatever she wanted. She wore shorts during the summer and swimsuits on beach holidays. I wanted to instill confidence into her from a young age and make her understand that being different doesn’t mean you are any less beautiful. As a parent you will naturally be protective and I knew I would have to be extra strong for her, so that she could deal with the potential challenges and judgement she may experience as an teenager and later, a young woman. I prepared myself for those times when she would come home and tell me that kids at school had said something spiteful about her skin. Being a ‘step ahead of the game’ makes dealing with those issues easier”.

    How did your parents react to your very first patch? Feel free to share…..

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